I don't feel amazing now
by green-gremlin
Summary: Based on "I don't feel Amazing Now" by the Guillemots. Duo has seen Heero cheating on him, and is having a emotional breakdown when Zech comes to the rescue and persuades him to runaway and lose himself. One-shot.


**I don't feel amazing now**

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**A.N: I have no idea why I wrote this. I just heard "I don't Feel Amazing Now" by The Guillemots, and just had to write. This is a song fic, and a sad story. Although the two lead characters are never mentioned, I wrote this thinking about Duo and Zech, so that is who I say they are, but you can believe they are any of the Gundam Wing characters (with a few exceptions) if you want. I haven't had a Beta for this piece, because I really want to post it now, and know if I wait for someone to check it, then I will lose my nerve and it won't be posted.  
This is my first ever Gundam Wing story, so I hope it is alright, although I have written several which I have never had the nerve to post. Maybe if people like this, then I might post some more. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, or any of the Characters. If I did then the series wouldn't be anywhere as PG as it is.  
**

**Warnings: Possible Yaoi undertones...erm I think that's it, which is a surprise for me.**

**P.S: Flamers will be laughed at and shared with all my friends so they to can laugh.**

**(Please check out "I don't feel Amazing Now" by the Guillemots, it really is a lovely, but sad song)**

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I couldn't move, not if even if I wanted to. My bed was warm and safe, and the moment I moved I knew the pain would increase again. The pain of facing reality, of dealing with all the condescending words as people triumphed in their own happiness whilst watching my own burn into cinders. Whilst I was curled in a tight ball on my bed, locked away from everyone, I could lose myself and pretend for a moment that it hadn't happened, that I hadn't seen them together.

Distantly I could hear someone knocking on my door, trying to make me surface from this safety, but I couldn't move. The others had probably seen me returning, wondered as I flew into my room without a single word. Quatre probably even noticed my heart breaking, but right now I can't deal with that. I can't speak to them right now; I don't want to ever speak again. After all it was my voice which he told me he had first fallen for.

**...**

He's back, pretending to be confused at why I'm hurting. I can hear his traitorous voice calling to me softly, trying to lull me into believing that I didn't see what I saw. Why does he have to play with me like this? It just hurts even more, knowing he is so close, that I could curl in his arms and pretend. That I can could easily continue playing this fucked up game, ignoring that fact I've lost and will always lose.

I don't want to play his game, because I can now see that there was nothing there at all, and the more he calls to me, the more certain I am of that. If he had loved me like his says he does, then he would never have cheated on me.

**...**

Someone is trying to come through my window; I can hear them trying to pick the lock. I should stop them, but I can't. I just don't want to move from here. It's not like it's him trying to break in anyway, he's still knocking on my door, trying to wheedle his way back into my heart.

Opening my eyes a little, I watching the silhouette at my window, surprised to realise that it is now dark outside. The stars are out, but they no longer seem to have the brightness and sparkle which I always loved about them. Maybe I just need to return to space for a bit, get closer to the stars so I can once again lose myself.

I hear the almost silent click as the lock gives in and opens for the silhouette. Closing my eyes again, I try to remain in my solitude for a few moments longer, before I am forced to face the pain of life once more. Behind my eyelids I can once again see the stars, but even these have lost their brightness, they seem almost like pale imitations to what they once were.

As the bed dips, I feel a cool hand brush against my forehead, brushing away a few stray tendrils of my hair which were clinging onto my skin as if terrified that if they did not touch me I might vanish. Slowly I allowed my eyes to flutter open, wondering who would be so kind as to leave me to silence. Who I saw almost made me crack a smile. There is something terribly ironic about the only other person hurt as much by recent events as I am, being the one to come and comfort me.

"Shouldn't you be walled up in self pity like me?" I managed to murmur, meeting his icy blue eyes which suddenly seemed to be melting before me, becoming something warmer.

"Wulfie and I have been having some problems for a while" he answered softly, his hand running slowly through my hair in a calming manner as he spoke, "I wasn't really surprised to see him cheating, I just couldn't believe Heero would do that to you". I couldn't help but wince at the sound of His name. Just hearing it made the pain feel even more acute. Closing my eyes as the pain hit me in a new tidal wave, I struggled to stay afloat, forgetting my visitor for a moment. As I came back to reality again, I felt cold fingers against my cheeks, wiping away my tears which I hadn't even realized I was crying.

**...**

"Sorry" I murmured brokenly, unsure of myself as I gazed up at my former enemy. He just smiled sadly back in return, silently comforting me, as the knocking continued at my door. Closing my eyes again, I let his presence calm me and realized that the gaping hole where my heart had once been no longer felt as large and painful.

"Come with me" he whispered after a few minutes of silence, "Just run away with me to somewhere where we can lose ourselves". His voice cracked a little during his plea and I realized that despite everything he had said he was actually starting to fall apart. Opening my eyes again, I met his gaze, noting the pain barely hidden behind his icy eyes. How I had missed it before, I had no idea.

"Where?" I found myself asking, surprised I was actually considering running away with someone I had only known as a friend for a few months.

"Anywhere" he replied softly, "As long as it isn't here." The knocking at my door increased in volume suddenly as I was trying to think of a response. I just wanted the noises at the door to stop, to have some peace to fall apart in. Before I knew what I was doing, I found myself nodding in acceptance, suddenly desperate to be taken out of here. I didn't even matter where we might go, we can just fool ourselves that everything is fine.

Slowly I sat up, my head spinning as I did so. Moving didn't hurt as much as I thought it would though, but still the pain almost crippled me. Resting a hand against my chest, I tried to stop myself from disintegrating with the hollowness I felt inside me. Squeezing my eyes shut for a second, they flew open again almost instantly, as I was scoped up from the bed in a quick and smooth movement, throwing me over his shoulder in a fireman's lift. Before I could even get my voice to function enough to point out that I didn't need carrying, we were already outside of my room, on the balcony with only the night as company.

"I can walk" I finally managed to say as we reached the edge of the balcony. He just chuckled lightly, but didn't move to put me down. The next second he agilely jumped over the edge of the balcony, catching the limb of a tree with his free hand, and slowly climbing down the tree, before depositing me on the grass.  
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...**

It took only a few minutes to reach his car, which he had parked a few streets away so no one would realize he had been at our house. I was thankful for that, as it meant that it would be harder to locate me, once it was discovered I was not in my room.

We headed out of the city, no destination in mind, and once we had finally escaped the bright streetlights, he reached over taking my hand and squeezing it gently, before putting the radio on as we vanished into the darkness.

**.**

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**Reviews are Love, and everyone needs a little Love**


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